The Outrageously (and Unnecessarily) Long, Wrongfully-Judgmental Rant

For some reason, of which I cannot seem to easily express nor explain, I tend to hang out with certain groups of people; I'm just picky for those sort of things, you know? I'm young for my maturity (as I'm told by my older peers), and so I just prefer hanging out with the groups of people where they don't do certain things, or they like to participate in certain activities, or maybe we just share a mutual interest or passion for something (or Someone).

At school, I don't really hang out with anyone unless need be. I have four classes this semester at my high school: Math (I hate math with a passion), Spanish 1 (my napping class), Advanced Chorale (my favorite relaxing and fun class), and World History (the easy, "filler" class).

In Math, I crack a few jokes here and there, but I'm only the class clown on a few occasions. I don't go out of my way to make everybody laugh and irritate the teacher (although, I must say, I don't necessarily hate my teacher, but she's not someone I'd visit after I graduate, telling her how much she's helped my education career, blah blah blah), but I make people smile and chuckle when I can. But the people in that class are, for the most part, people that I don't really have a common interest in, nor do they meet my requirements for being more than a colleague with me. They're mostly foulmouthed, rude, immature, and I am almost certain at least an eighth of that class are either smoking, having sex, doing drugs, or something they should never do.

Sophomores, am I right?

In Spanish 1, I just try to pass the class. I need two foreign language credits, but this class is where all four years are mixed together. The teacher is more-or-less inadequate to be teaching my block, though I'm sure he's completely capable of teaching the other classes. The majority of the students are just there to screw around, sleep, and try to make the teacher's life miserable. All of them, rude, annoying, wannabes (literally, a Freshman calls himself "Schlim Shady" after Eminem...), and half of them are probably smoking weed or buying packs of Marlboro to soothe their addictions. I sleep in that class all the time, but the teacher tolerates me very kindly because I don't disturb his teaching, and I'm one of the top students in that class (thank you, middle school Spanish 1).

Poor life choices, am I right?

My chorus class is my favorite class of the day. I get to listen to my classmates sing beautifully, all the while relax and just "cool down" with my friends. But there are only a couple of them I hang out during class. After class, I really don't keep in contact with any of them. It's saddening to think that not even in my favorite class can I trust even one of them to keep a secret of mine; at least, not most of them. A few are promising, but until then, I march this road of loneliness.

Class dramas, am I right?

The fourth and final class of the day: world history. Ask anybody in my last class about me, and they'll say I'm the Korean kid who always cracks lame jokes, yet I seem to make at least half the class laugh while the other half just groan. But, again, no one there can comfort me or share my love for certain things in my life. They're too busy with who's dating who, who cheated on who, which football team won, who fought who, and such-and-such.

High schoolers, am I right?

However, the ones that I call family are called my family because we share common interests. We share common goals, common tribulations, common passions, common appetites, etc.

These people I call family are my family because we all love haystacks. We all love spending time with each other, even though it's 3:30 in the morning, playing a certain card game for people who are old enough to get into nightclubs. We all love Tuesday nights where we have amazing dinners and thoughtful Bible studies. We all love playing Texas Hold'em because it's funny and painful to see that someone won the pot by bluffing with a pair of 6's, while you could of had a straight if only you had waited until the river. We all love messing with each other's quirks and flaws because we are all human, and we all share similar insecurities, and because we love each other so much, we can do those certain things without hurting anybody's feelings (permanently). And we all love Jesus Christ, because we all go through different Christian walks of faith, but we all share the same Savior.

Now, I've probably wasted a lot of time just blabbering about different things that don't make sense unless I'm thinking about it. But if everything else has gone through one ear (eye..?) and out the other, then just pay attention here. This is where the title REALLY kicks in:

Despite all the mutuality we share, there is one big difference I can point out:
I'm 16. They're in their twenties, thirties, and a small handful are actually parents.

To avoid unnecessary detail, but without cutting it short, I'll have to explain why this is an "apologetic thank-you" with some 'historical background'.

Every Tuesday evening for almost two years, these young adults have been coming together to some host(s)'s house for dinner and a Bible study. The Bible studies, or "Munchabunch Bible Study" as we call it, were for only young adults; actually, it still pretty much is! I praise the Lord for opening the hearts of the studygoers to let me come every week, even though I pretty much bring nothing to the table, except for a box of my parent's finest (leftover) donuts. Yet, with open arms, I'm accepted as a fellow family member, the youngest sibling of a very large family.

Now, through those Bible studies, I have also gotten to know a small handful of very special people who I hold dear to my heart. These people, who for privacy reasons will remain nameless (but you know who you are), have opened up their cars, homes, and wallets for me even though I can't give back something materialistic that is of equivalent value.

For example, these close friends of mine  have lent me towels to dry myself after using their showers, but do I pay their water bills or their laundry bills? No. They offer rides for me, especially during times of inconveniences. Do I pay for their gas? Never. They buy me food and things I don't necessarily need when I'm short on money, or even when I offer to pay my portion, they shove it aside although as if money is low on supply for me. Do I pay them back? Rarely.

But because they love me so much, and more so because they love Jesus so much, they show their love for me through their actions and hospitality. The guilt that heavily weighs upon me because I can never fully repay the debt I owe them, and how I think that I'm just a nuisance or a burden to them, reminds me of the debt that I owe to Christ, and I realize that they share that debt, but that's for a different day. The guilt that heavily weighs upon me because of that also reminds me of a handful of verses that I researched were in Matthew 25:

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ - Matthew 25:31-40

The debt I owe to my loved ones will already be paid in full by the One who has paid for my ransom. This is what the Bible is about: to love God and love your neighbors, and I know that my friends aren't perfect, but they perfectly show their love to God, and their love to me, their neighbor. I know that when we are welcomed into the New Jerusalem, their debt will be paid, but their give will be less than their take.

To those who have read this far, sorry for taking up a lot of time, but thanks for reading. This is where you can leave with the conclusion that hospitality and love for your neighbors, even when they can't pay you back in full, is key to the inheritance of the Kingdom of Heaven.

But to those of you who are described as the ones that lavish me with unconditional love, I thank you with all my heart. Even though I can never pay back the kindness you all have showed me as the youngest sibling of the weird family we have, I can say with full certainty that God has a place for you in His kingdom. He has an inheritance that you have earned because not only did you show me love, but by showing me love, you have showed Him love. You have all taught me how to show that love, and hopefully in the future I can show that same love to others.

Thank you.
- Joseph